Monday, September 30, 2002
How ironic for them to rip off the
A pro-Israel organization has set
up a Web site to monitor professors and
universities for pro-Arab, anti-Israel
bias -- a move some academics are decrying
as campus McCarthyism and attempted intimidation.
The site names schools and specific
professors. Forum director Daniel Pipes
said the think tank hopes eventually to
monitor 250 North American academic institutions.
The full story here,
and there's actually a nice spin to it...
unlike the obvious comparison one can
make to these site operators, that being
freaks who post abortion doctor information,
professors are actually writing this site
and demanding to be put on the
list. Kinda takes a bit of edge off
the "let's scare them into submission"
angle, don't it. Maybe it's because unlike
abortion, in the Middle East debate you
can't just get randomly executed for having
a contrary viewpoint.
The latest from Media
Whores Online, which on most any other
day provides logical and rational informative
In a nauseating show of bad faith,
Michael Moore and other Naderite forces
have threatened to oppose any Democrat
who supports war against Iraq.
They've already jumped ship, playing
the Republicans' game. But now they want
to jump ship again, all the while drinking
Karl Rove's well-prepared batch of political
There are many shades of opinion on
the Iraq crisis within the Democratic
Party. Reasonably so. But the demagogue
Moore sees no shades. And now, following
Rove's textbook to a "T", he is acting
as if its the ONLY issue before us, all
else is irrelevant, all dissent from his
position will be squelched, eradicated,
It's exactly, precisely, completely
what Karl Rove has been plotting since
last spring. Politicize foreign policy
in order to rip the Democrats to pieces,
and keep the ultra-right wing in power
for yet another generation.
In fact, these would-be moralists
like Moore have only the most cynical
views of the current crisis. They want
to use it, pure and simple, to wreck the
Democratic Party, which has been their
aim (the same aim as Rove's) for years
now. They fantasize that then, THEN, THEY
WILL INHERIT THE EARTH. Just like the
Communists in 1930's Germany.
Don't fall for it. Don't be tripped
by these people, who have never had anything
but their own sectarian interests at heart.
Ignore them. They want to sacrifice
your life as well as those of your children
and grandchildren in their bizarre experiment,
the purported goals of which will never,
ever come to pass.
Now, as I've said multiple times before,
I don't side heavily with the core beliefs
of the Green Party any more than I do
with the Democrats, because my main interests
in terms of politics are those that these
two parties share: equal rights, decent
education standards, and opposition of
right-wing oligarchy. I will also repeat
the fact that I am a big fan, and frequent
reader, of MWO, specifically because they
try to further these beliefs.
That said, this is completely fucking
I mean, honestly, what exactly is the
point of this post they made today? It
obviously isn't an attempt to change any
Greens' minds (and viewpoints) over to
the Democratic Party, because it gives
them almost the same level of respect
as a drunken husband gives his repeatedly-battered
wife. Yet again the bastions of Democratic
idealism fail to accept that there is
a massive difference between embarrassing
the opposition by disproving their theories
and humiliating the opposition
by dehumanizing them with insults. The
former is the principal aspect of political
debate; the latter is the easiest way
to never want someone to change their
mind ever again.
And Moore and Nader in tune with Karl
Rove to use the idealism of Greens to
destroy the Democratic Party from within
as some kind of neo-Communist scheme?
Of course! How silly of me to never have
seen it before! And I bet the Illuminati
are in on it, too! Oh, and the Kl'hurgs!
Don't forget the vicious reptilian Kl'hurg
invaders from the planet Zhimpak, who
wish to take over the earth, barring the
elimination of their only obstacle- Al
Gore! My GOD, they've already brainwashed
Cynthia McKinney! How many more must suffer
before the madness ends?
I have the utmost respect for the mission
and ideals of the people at MWO, but they
seriously need to take a deep breath
on this one. They of all people, being
true supporters of the Democratic Party,
should know that one of the party's greatest
historical weaknesses is its disability
in group organizational structure. stoking
the fire of an already volatile base is
not going to tip them back into the pot;
if anything it's just going to boil them
And above all, I repeat that the attacks
on Moore and Nader, who despite their
lack of political campaign insight are
still two above-decent human beings, is
just plain silly. I hate to say it, MWO,
but it's the kind of babbling accusations
that one would hear at. well. at a Nader
Friday, September 27, 2002
Oh, well this is certainly good and
will lead to no future problems whatsoever.
A letter, with valuable link, from a
new reader identified only as Bill
the Splut. (Heh.)
Thanks for the very funny Scrooge
post! It certainly cheered me up after
reading about the
main candidates to replace Saddam
when-not-if we blow up the world again[.]
The CIA's 3 stooges: Either an Enron-level
embezzler, a leader of the invasion of
Kuwait and massacrer of anti-Saddam Iraqis,
or the general in charge of using poison
gas on the Kurds. I only WISH I could
say that this surprised me.
Thursday, September 26, 2002
- "Bush is Nothing like Hitler."
Update: Less than 650 votes away
from the Top 20, bee-yotch.
Nope, this isn't horrible at all.
Moore's website: A
bill is currently being pushed through
Congress that will give health care providers,
including those that are federally funded,
right to refuse to perform abortions
or administer contraceptive medication
for personal moral reasons.
Let's get right to the point. This is
a perversion of medical practice.
To be a doctor or nurse is to agree to
attend to the needs of the patient. The
law, and I believe the oath doctors and
nurses take. requires them to respect,
among other things, a woman's legal right
to do what she wants with her own reproductive
abilties. This is NOT an issue of "if
you don't like it, go to a different hospital."
This is an issue of "if you don't like
it, don't be a doctor." I will not accept
the idea that medicine is a consumer good
that has bargains and comparison shopping.
Essential services that refuse to perform
parts of their services don't have the
right to be one.
Being abortion is the only reason this
concept is possible; the very notion that
a doctor could refuse to perform heart
surgery or prescribe any other form of
medication because he doesn't feel like
it would have his or her license stripped
from them instantly.
My guess is that the growing coalition
of churches and hospitals is the basis
for this: all we need is for every "St.
Someone-or-Other's" to suddenly have the
legal ability to refuse women the right
bill has been titled the "Abortion
Non-Discrimination Act," which is a great
name for a bill that specifically allows
you to discriminate against the right
to an abortion. Double-plus Ungood.
Among other things, it "Expands the definition
of "health care entity" to include (in
addition to physicians) other health professionals,
a hospital, a provider sponsored organization,
a health maintenance organization, a health
insurance plan, and any other kind of
health care facility, organization, or
Essentially, this means that a hospital
hiring a doctor specifically to fill their
women's services position could not be
turned down because of his refusal to
perform women's services. Congressman,
please explain how that make any fucking
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
I am sure that I, as all of you who read
stuff like this website, have been angered
on more than one occasion by the rambling
Randian rhetoric that is Forbes
Magazine. But never in my life have I
had to deal with this, the most ridiculous,
baseless, un-researched piece of financial
analysis I have ever had to deal with
in this seemingly Democratic society.
McDuck is worth only $8.2 billion?
Are you fucking insane?
Now before the flood comes to my Inbox
telling me how this is a lighthearted
fluff piece, how complaining about this
is pointless and no one cares, I say this:
screw you. I care. There are certain basic
facts of life that I was reared with as
a child that I will defend to the end
of my life. Among the greatest of those
is the simple fact that Scrooge McDuck
has more money than anyone can ever goddamn
I don't know how the people at Forbes
came up with this figure. I don't know
how a reporter of Capitalism justifies
Santa as the richest fictional character,
either. Santa Claus is a humanitarian
non-profit. I mean, duh.
The list ranks Scrooge at fourth, which
is an insult. Even the vaguest glance
at anything related to the mythos of Scrooge
McDuck will place him far and above the
richest of all fictional characters- more
then Richie Rich, more than Daddy Warbucks,
more than Bruce Wayne and Lex Luthor combined.
(I'd like to point out I have no beef
with Bruce Wayne. He's Batman. That by
itself makes him the most awesome person
ever. But right now, we're comparing salaries.)
So, to the editors of Forbes,
here's a little bit of help from someone
with, granted, slightly more than a vague
glance at the McDuck mythos. Time to make
Scrooge McDuck is the richest living
being, with a net worth so high it is
incalculable by rational terms. His last
official tabulated net worth was, to the
decimal, five multiplujillion nine impossibidillion
seven fantasticatrillion dollars and sixteen
cents. (A multiplujillion, written in
numerical form, is a one followed by about
164 zeros, greater than the googol, the
highest rational number calculated by
The list identifies his source of income
as "mining." This is grossly inaccurate.
McDuck earned his original wealth as a
Klondike gold prospector, procured after
he bought miner's equipment upon the sale
of his great-grandfather's gold teeth,
later to be found as the source of inheritance
identification on a massive business deal
involving the delivery of two century-old
horseradish. Look, I didn't come up with
this, it's all in the books, people. McDuck's
business practices are wide and numerous,
including oil wells, railroads, gold mines,
farms, factories, steamships, theatres,
ping-pong ball manufacturing, automotive
plants, sawmills, radio stations, canneries,
fisheries, race horses, experimental ice
cream research, space travel, and newspapers.
McDuck also possesses investments which
are, ironically, so valuable that the
only person able to afford them is McDuck
himself, thus rendering their value as
not merely priceless, but literally incalculable.
These assets include the remnants of the
Trojan Horse, the Kaffer De Gaffer African
diamond mines, the world's only candy-striped
ruby, the world's only living unicorn
and Egyptian Sebek crocodile (the rarest
and second-rarest living animals, respectively),
the only 1916 U.S. quarter in circulation,
the Incan gold of Pizarro, rare chickens
that lay square eggs, and a small moon
composed of 24-karat gold, which in itself
would be worth vastly more than $8.2 billion
were it not for the fact that actually
delivering the moon somehow to earth would
cripple the entire gold standard.
This level of business and acquisition
prowess, combined with the fact that McDuck
has never, to any know report, willingly
expended any extra money, accounts to
a being that has so much soft money on
hand that he needs a money bin large
enough to hold its volume of 3 cubic acres.
(Assuming a cubic acre is the square root
of 640 square feet to the third power,
that would make the volume of the money
bin over 48,000 cubit feet.)
Let us also not forget, everyone, that
South African businessduck Flintheart
Glomgold is currently tabulated as the
second-richest Duck in the World,
as his last official net worth calculation
is so incrementally close to that of Scrooge
McDuck's that the ranking is literally
due to McDuck owning twelve inches of
string more than Golmgold. Again, folks,
this is all there in the books if you
bothered to read them.
So you're telling me that a duck who
has 3 cubic acres of liquid assets and
a fucking moon made of gold isn't
the richest fictional character ever created?
Shame, shame on you, Forbes Magazine.
Now go run the numbers again.
Jolly good Axis of Evil right there.
Anyone read that big
'ol report that the United Kingdom
released earlier this week detailing how
Saddam is actively trying to acquire the
materials to make a weapon of mass destruction?
Kind of makes you wonder where nations
in the Axis of Evil might be getting their
materials. Well, if you're Iraq's largest
(and fellow Evildoer) neighbor Iran, the
answer is simple: you
get the materials from the United Kingdom.
Now go get a towel and clean all of your
coffee off the monitor.
So, what's the deal here? I mean, we
don't let Saddam have aluminum,
for Christ's sakes. We're giving his next-door
neighbor a prime atomic weapon component.
England: please feel free to justify your
belief that I'm just paranoid, and that
Iran really has alternative uses for Beryllium,
a metal that serves virtually no other
significant purpose than for use in nuclear
and other military weapons, and that this
is absolutely no way whatsoever the most
ludicrous double-standard on behalf of
the United Kingdom in recent memory. I'd
really, REALLY like to feel better about
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Participate in the great Iraq venture
for only pennies a day! Oh yeah, and your
soul. You're all going straight to hell.
Well, I think we can establish that the
last shred of ambiguity has been removed
from the international rationale for attacking
Iraq. Apparently, as if some gigantic
menu has been established in the back
rooms of the U.N somewhere, various nations
are now throwing in their personal bids
they want in return for supporting regime
change. Let's take a quick peek, shall
Russia wants assurances the $7 billion
Iraq owes it would be assumed by a post-Saddam
Hussein regime and that there will be
less criticism about its Chechnya policy.
China would appreciate support in its
crackdown on Islamic militants in its
Central Asia border areas.
France wants future access to Iraqi
oil fields. Saudi Arabia and Kuwait hope
for U.S. protection for their own vast
petroleum reserves. Egypt and Jordan could
use more economic assistance.
Turkey also would prefer that an invasion
of Iraq not take place in the summer;
the timing would be bad for tourism, a
major prop of the Turkish economy.
So, let's see. Money, security, oil,
security for oil, money, money,
and... tourism (translated: money). Well.
At least we have a good reason and all
that. Oh wait, here's a few more that
I just made up:
The magical land of puppies and ice cream
wants only the hope that its children
will grow up in a world where there is
no more terrorism.
Switzerland, recently stripping its class
as a neutral nation, wants in just to
prove its masculinity.
Luxembourg is willing to provide its
entire vast army of twelve men with big
sticks for the heavy price of being easier
to identify on a third-grade histor class
The illustrious armies of Narnia truly
believe that by destroying Saddam all
evil in the world will perish forever.
However, their army suffers a critical
flaw of being combat-ready only when you're
not looking for them.
Denmark is bored.
A quick pair for your Tuesday morning
to Oregon: screw you.
to Bush: screw you.
I'm sure the Bush administration actually
has a definitive policy on whether
or not they support state's rights, but
hey, I'm sure they were just thinking
"Ah, screw it." God, I'm witty.
Monday, September 23, 2002
Oh, and another thing
I've been getting these weird e-mails
from some online dating/matchmaker thing
that keeps telling me "Somebody likes
you!" or "You have a secret admirer!"
or something like that. I'm on the general
assumption that this is just spam, which
is why I never ever reply to these things.
So if, in fact, you are trying to let
me know you are secretly in love with
me, it would be really helpful, as well
as beneficial to our future relationship,
if you just came out and told me that
you want me. I'm sure I'd appreciate it.
For one thing, I'm aware that there's
apparently this influx of really hot chicks
making their presence known on LiveJournal.
I'm so up for that.
First of all, I'm not as bright as you
think, so when I get these secret admirer
e-mails I cannot even for the life of
me grasp whom it might be. I mean, sure
I've got idea on who I'd like it
to be, but I doubt that "my entire Senior
year's Girls Soccer team" actually has
a valid e-mail address, not to mention
that I know God hates me, which eliminates
Second, I have a horrible, horrible memory.
So every now and then I get random e-mails
or IMs from people who tell me something
in a familiar tone, or even go as far
as to compliment my personal appearance,
and I have no fucking clue who these
people are because I met them maybe
eight months ago and we talked for five
minutes and between then and now I must
have hit myself on the head with various
heavy things at least seven or
So, seriously: ladies. I'm a guy. Guys
are, on the whole, rather dumb. So if
you're actually trying to make the first
move here it would really help if you
gave me just a slightly less-subtle sign,
because to be perfectly honest, despite
all my apparent rapier political wit,
when it comes to romance I get distracted
by shiny objects. Oh, and blonde girls
in tight clothing. I get distracted by
those a lot too.
Update: Wow, did not expect that
many people to write, especially the one
or two girls who expressed their apparent
undying love for me. Thanks to all, even
though none of you provided suggestive
photos. I'm kidding. I swear.
Second Update: Advance apologies
to anyone who linked here from any of
the women's rights websites that referenced
any of my abortion articles or other women's
issues. The humble artist/writer of this
comic and its website wishes to express
thouroghly that he is not, in fact, a
sexist asshole, and is simply, for the
record, a 21-year old single male.
"Timmy, I failed you because you're
a friggin' idiot."
Though not necessarily the World's
Stupidest IdeaT, I'll mark this as
one of the stupidest things I've ever
heard in my life. Apparently students
in high school across the country are
using "netspeak" in their homework assignments:
Deborah Bova, who teaches eighth-grade
English at Raymond Park Middle School
in Indianapolis, thought her eyesight
was failing several years ago when she
saw the sentence "B4 we perform, ppl have
2 practice" on a student assignment.
"I thought, `My God, what is this?'
" Ms. Bova said. "Have they lost their
No, Ms. Bova, but I'm afraid they have
lost their brains. At what point did teenagers
I'm sorry, I'm sure I'm going to get
a debate here, but I'm holding no quarter
to this. It's English. And even
if it was History, or Math, or any other
course where you're supposed to write
something as an assignment, using 'net
abbreviations (translated: made-up
words) merits an automatic decrease
in grades. Little Tiffany with the B4's
and the ppl's up there needs a bit more.
If that's a 14-year old, I think the PalmPilot
needs to go away for a while, because
this is obviously someone who should not
be near any mechanical or electronic equipment
until she learns how to fucking read
See, I'm aware that I'm not an English
major. This is something that my mother,
who is an English major, inadvertently
pointed out to me any time she ever critiqued
at my request anything I ever wrote during
school. I am aware, however, that my problems
in writing for this site are not because
of my poor English, but because I never
learned how to type. I average thirty-seven
typos for every fifteen words I write.
I've gone through five backspace keys
on this computer alone.
I will also acknowledge that I do not,
technically, have handwriting. In other
words, I don't remember how to write in
cursive anymore, having not been forced
to do so since third grade. I mean, honestly,
when was the last time any of you sat
down and hand-wrote a long personal note
to someone? I understand that technology
has made e-mail replace the pen and the
stamp. But you know what, kids? When I
write someone an e-mail I do my best to
write is as if I'm actually talking to
them in a coherent language.
It's really quite simple. You probably
say "fuck" in front of your friends. You
don't say in front of your English teacher.
So do them all a favor and don't write
the equivalent of verbal epithets on your
assignments just because your used to
doing it in front of your friends, okay?
You're all being idiots. Stop it.
Just in case you didn't think it was
this obvious that all of this fighting
makes no goddamn sense whatsoever
Until his death at the hands of a
Palestinian suicide bomber in Tel Aviv,
19-year-old Yoni, a bright, engaging Jewish
student from Glasgow, had lived a life
of privilege in the neat tree-lined streets
of the city's southside.
Yasmin, a seven-year-old Palestinian
schoolgirl, had grown up in startlingly
different surroundings: war-torn Ramallah.
Worse, she had suffered kidney failure
a month short of her fifth birthday.
Last night, it emerged that, true
to Yoni Jesner's wishes, his Scots family
had instructed doctors to donate their
son's kidney to a Palestinian refugee.
Abu Rimila, the young girl's mother, said
last night that Joni had saved her daughter's
life. She said: "I don't know how to thank
the family of the victim of the attack.
I and my family feel for the pain and
thank them for the donation that saved
my daughter's life."
The full story here.
I recommend reading it and then taking
a few few minutes to think about it.
Friday, September 20, 2002
Okay, I've noticed, both as I check the
blog backlog and the comics I've been
working on, that most of what we've all
been talking about this week has been
Iraq. And rightly so, considering all
the stuf that's gone down this week in
regards to it.
That said, I've officially been overwhelmed
with the continuing influx of Iraq-related
news, so I'm gonna throw these in with
all the other noteworthy reader letter
this week and try to get back to some
Assuming all of the stories I have been
given are true, the following additional
revelations have come to light about Iraq
that have not already been discussed on
this or one of the "major" sites: Bush
planned Iraqi regime change before he
even became president, Bush Sr. during
his stint at the CIA was largely responsible
the man he and his son would later declare
as the worst man alive, and Bush wants
to officially adapt the military strategy
of the United States as one that by
any means necessary will not allow any
other nation to become a superpower.
Oh goody. Thanks to Thomas as well as
one or two other people who did not provide
actual names in their e-mails. I still
love you all, though.
All of the aforementioned articles furthers
the statement I made a few days ago in
that our country is clearly being run
by a cadre of individuals who do not care
that at least two or three of their own
have completely lost their minds. In addition,
reader Syke provides this
story about the protestors during Rumsfeld's
speech the other day, with the following
Is it just me..or is there a slight
contradiction here? AFTER two women are
removed from a Congressional hearing room
by capitol police for asking questions
(that the the Congressman should have
been asking) Rumsfeld says this:
"Of course, people like that are not
able to go to Iraq and make demonstrations
like that because there is no free speech."
Well, umm, if they were escorted out
by capitol police..then they really couldn't
make a demonstration questioning plans
to go to war? Hello?!
Good point, Skye, but clearly we have
not been dealing with logic in regards
to Iraq for the last few weeks... or in
the eyes of some, the last few years.
And I'd rather not spend any more time
this weekend thinking about how much worse
it's going to get, so I am really going
to do my best to make my next post about
something non-Iraq related. Next week's
comic, I can make no promises, because
after reading this
story I think we might be having an
old friend(?) coming to visit the strip
Thursday, September 19, 2002
don't have a title for this post, because
frankly I just couldn't think of one. At
first it might have been one of those offhanded
"The President of the United States has
gone completely insane, part whatever" tidbits,
but it goes beyond that.
Likewise, I reflect now on how I am glad
I do not drink alcohol, because if I did
I would have been consuming it for, oh
let's say the last three hours. You see,
an interesting little story has just come
out from the BBC, because, of course,
God forbid the United States would bother
to report something as insignificant as
this when the first episode of Survivor
is airing tonight and all.
The American secretary of state, Colin
Powell, has said the United States will
find ways to stop weapons inspectors going
back to Iraq unless there is a new United
Nations Security Council resolution on
I'm sorry. You might have missed that.
I'd be happy to reiterate.
United States is threatening to prevent
U.N. weapon inspectors from entering Iraq.
The United States of America- that's
the Good Ol' USA- just in case you might
have made a mistake or something- the
nation that, for twelve years now, has
sanctioned and threatened (and enacted)
multiple bombings of Iraq because of their
refusal to allow weapons inspectors into
their country- is now not only saying
they do not want to send in inspectors
just yet, but they are threatening, assumedly
with military force, to block anyone else,
assumedly the United Nations, from doing
My fellow Americans, this is beyond killing
irony. This is the savage raping of irony
and leaving it to bleed to death in an
abandoned alley. This is covering irony
in gasoline and setting it on fire, waiting
for it to cool just so we can get close
enough to urinate on the smoldering ashes.
This is going back in time and melting
the arm and brain-chip of irony so that
it never has a chance to exist in the
future and come back to the present day
and challenge mankind for dominance.
This is something else, something in
which the human mind cannot grasp the
appropriate word for just yet.
Now, we have discussed many times how
the President is not likely the main man
in charge of the country, if you know
what I'm saying. But someone out there,
up in the halls of the West Wing, or maybe
deep in the basements of the Pentagon..
one of those guys has some clout. And
one of those guys has completely lost
his mind. And I don't mean in a cutesy
"let's make a funny post title" insane,
I mean a genuine "this man is no longer
fit for office and need a doctor right
now kind of way.
And I think it is very important we find
him and get him out of the loop immediately.
I suggest we send some inspectors. As
we can see, it's not like they're going
to busy in Iraq any time before. oh, I'd
guess the first Tuesday in November.
We'll be foolish... er, fooled...
I'f you didn't watch it last night on
The Daily Show, then I'm sure you've
the clip somewhere else or read
the transcript by now of our fearless
leader blatantly forgetting what he was
saying in the middle of saying it.
For the last two years now, longer if
you count the election season, there's
been the whole argument about why we keep
finding Bush's garbled words so hilarious.
I'm sure there's more to it than my own
little viewpoints, but since one's own
little viewpoints are exactly what personal
website were created for, here's my attempt
at a (gasp!) rational, somewhat non-partisan
analysis of Bush's waning vocabulary:
Bush is a president who is seen by many
as the embodiment of the spoiled rich
brat who has had his entire life handed
to him. He took the helm from a long line
of percieved characters: a slick bullshitter,
a wimp trying to re-assert himself, a
"man's man" former cowboy actor trying
to keep his screen presence, a grassroots
non-politician, and... okay, Ford really
didn't reflect anything. He just fell
down a lot. It's not like anyone voted
George W. Bush, however, instead of working
around or capitalizing on the stereotypes
his critics give him, seems to almost
endorse happily every notion of "un-presidentialness"
that is handed to him. He brags proudly
about his near-failures in college, becomes
adversarial when approached by those who
seem to be testing his intellectual ability,
allows himself to be videotaped picking
his nose and giggling about a woman being
sentenced to death, and is known in press
clips more by his vacation slides in Texas
than his determined actions in the White
House. In essence, Bush's character goes
out of its way to convince everyone in
the country that he's some simple dolt
who still doesn't understand why he's
been put in charge of the country. Well
guess what, good job, I believe it. In
the eyes of the world media, he's not
acting like a statesman. He's acting like
a goddamn Spice Girl.
As opposed to Bill Clinton, where his
opponents reflected on his eloquence and
speaking abilty with the notion that he
is, rightly believed, handing large shiny
Franklin Mint collector's plates of raw
bullshit to us, Bush's inabilty to string
two coherent sentences together reminds
us of all the faults that completely bastardize
his entire moral viewpoint: it invokes
the slurred speech of a former drunkard,
the ignorant vocabulary of an uncaring
college frat boy, the attention-deficient
ramblings of someone who does not seem
to have a grasp on, or a remote concern
for, the fact that he is the leader of
the free world.
Regardless of the inherent personal views
of a person (and our personal views toward
that person) the president is still the
representative of this nation to the rest
of the world. The Right railed on Clinton's
sex life about how his infidelities made
the icon of the American a damaging one
in the eyes of the world. Though they
picked a stupid theme of a person's private
life, which shouldn't be looked on by
anyone, let alone everyone on the planet,
the Right was accurate about the notion
that the president is supposed to represent
the dominant actions and thoughts of the
country. And how the hell are we supposed
to be proud of the idea that the world
might very well believe we all act and
talk like him?
Gosh, it must be a typo... one of
those typos that melts the polar ice cap.
For the first time in six years, the
annual EPA report on air pollution mysteriously
the entire section on global warming.
Well, golly, that must mean global warming
doesn't exist anymore. My god, that was
easy. Stay tuned for further updates on
how the government thinks we're all complete
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Apples and what may or may not be
I'm sure I'm going to get mixed reactions
to this because of what may or may not
be a disagreement in context, but this
just makes no sense to me.
A statue created in the memory of those
who died at the World Trade Center last
year by doing what many considered to
be "leaps of faith," and equally considered
many as the ultimate sign of psychological
breakdowns of the human emotion- leaping
from the windows of the Twin Towers to
their deaths- has
now been covered up because of complaints
by disturbed viewers.
The statue, depicting a naked woman in
an upside-down tumbling pose, was considered
too graphic by attendees at the memorial
statue garden in Rockefeller Center where
it was displayed until today's covering.
Okay, here's where I get a little confused.
Almost a year ago, conservative
shit hit the media fan because an
artist tried to make a statue commemorating
the lost firefighters of September 11th,
in which the statue was based on the famous
"flag-raising photo" save the small exception
of two of the firefighters being of different
races than their white representatives
in the photo. This was, in the midst of
the Enron scandal, the Afghanistan bombings,
and the still-smoldering rubble of the
World Trade Center, considered to be something
that people should for some reason care
In other words, a year ago there was
massive public outcry because a memorial
statue doesn't accurately depict the real
event, and now there's public outcry because
I understand that there's the huge potential
for apples and oranges here: one statue
was depicting the actions of those who
were saving lives while the other depicts
the act of someone ending theirs. but
then there's my argument- who exactly
confirmed that? Tom
Tomorrow said in
a cartoon about the controversial "Sensation"
art exhibit that the reason a painting
covered in dung is deemed offensive to
the Virgin Mary is because a painting
covered in dung is named "The Holy Virgin
Mary." Likewise, these statues are deemed
offensive because everyone automatically
related them as historical representations
of actual events rather than what they
really are- the emotional visions of the
artists who made them.
As far as I'm concerned both parties
were wrong in both cases. Art is meant
to be controversial, and art is meant
to be interpretive. It does not mean that
by interpreting it as controversial you've
got carte blanche to demand its removal
: "Iraq just gives everyone
The usual deal. Read the comic, try to
laugh, vote for me, make me famous. Fantasize
about knowing me, being with me, having
me. No. It is taboo. We can only express
our love... through the Top100 voting
button. Click it, and think of me. Farewell.
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
Your tax dollars at work, folks.
to spend $200 million to promote international
support for invading Iraq. Gosh. I
guess we can afford it, what with all
the money we've been saving not buying
oil from them and all. Oh, wait.
I found this on Salon
via Joe Conason's journal, who adds
this to the story:
According to today's Times of London
, the administration plans a $200 million
worldwide propaganda "blitz" to convince
foreign and domestic audiences that military
action against Saddam is unavoidable.
The campaign will be "overseen by the
Office of Global Communications, whose
existence will not be formally announced
until next month."
So, not only do we want Saddam's ass
served at breakfast, we're going to spend
enough money to give every citizen of
Iraq free food and housing for the rest
of their lives to
encourage the U.N. to agree with us on
a war. To top it all off, it's going to
be handled by a commitee that hasn't been
created yet, which to some might suggest
that it's being created solely for this
purpose. (I guess they have some free
offices what with all the HHS jobs they've
been slashing this week.)
"Oh, that's not unethical and immoral,
it's just good science!"
Tidbits from a recent Washington Post
The Bush administration has begun
a broad restructuring of the scientific
advisory committees that guide federal
policy in areas such as patients' rights
and public health, eliminating some committees
that were coming to conclusions at odds
with the president's views and in other
cases replacing members with handpicked
Some sources suggested the committee
had angered the pharmaceutical industry
or other research enterprises because
of its recommendations to tighten up conflict-of-interest
rules and impose new restrictions on
research involving the mentally ill.
Other sources said the committee had
run afoul of religious conservatives when
it failed to support an administration
push to include fetuses under a federal
regulation pertaining to human research
on newborns. Some within HHS said they'd
heard the department may reconstitute
the committee with a purview that includes
research on human fetuses or even embryos
-- a change seen by some as part of a
larger administration effort to bring
rights to the unborn.
Consistent with that possibility,
HHS officials recently told committee
members they hope to name Mildred Jefferson
to a reincarnated version of the committee
that the department hopes to create. Jefferson
is a medical doctor who helped found
the National Right to Life Committee
and who three times served as that organization's
At least one nationally renowned academic,
who was recently called by an administration
official to talk about serving on an HHS
advisory committee, disagreed with that
assessment. To the candidate's surprise,
the official asked for the professor's
views on embryo cell research, cloning
and physician-assisted suicide. After
that, the candidate said, the interviewer
told the candidate that the position would
have to go to someone else because the
candidate's views did not match those
of the administration.
The full article here.
And now, we revel in our psychic abilities
and then start bashing our heads into
Less than twelve hours ago, I wrote a
post in which I gave this exact quote:
This concept isn't even an argument;
it's a fact. War will raise the approval
of the commander-and-chief and his party,
through a combination of blind hatred
for whoever we branded the enemy, honest
American support of their leader in a
time of trouble, and complete fear that
refusal to emit such support will have
them arrested and detained for an unknown
time without bail or a hearing.
The question, of course, is whether
or not Bush honestly wants to invade Iraq
solely for this reason. Well, we now have
a way to determine this. As it turns out,
the chief weapons inspector for the United
Nations has now stated that even if Iraq
conceded to unrestricted inspections this
very afternoon, it would take at least
five months to prepare and perform the
inspections. This means, strangely enough,
that Saddam could very well cripple Bush's
plan by surrendering.
I was rather surprised, reading the evening
news, that not only had Iraq, in fact,
this very afternoon to unrestricted inspections,
but that the US, in less than the time
it would take me to spit my Diet Coke
over the monitor after reading that I
had offhandedly and in no way expectedly
telegraphed this, had actually answered
the very question I posed in my previous
I just bet you can guess the answer.
That's right. Iraq has offered to allow
inspectors back and the
U.S. officially does not three-fifths
of a fuck. Says White House spokesman
Scott McClellan, "it is a tactic that
What tactic? SURRENDERING?
Granted, there is a significant chance
that Saddam is lying about this, but if
he's not, then he's simply proving a fact
that kept him in power for over two decades:
he's not an idiot. Saddam, just as I did,
realized that actually caving in right
now gives him the upper hand in the majority
of outcomes that could result from this.
As I said yesterday, the stirring irony
is right there in front of him: it has
suddenly occurred to Saddam that he can
make the U.S. look like the biggest, most
arrogant, most incorrect piece of shit
in the entire world simply by giving them
everything Bush demanded at the U.N. last
week. (And, on a side note, saving thousands
of lives in the process.)
Unless, of course, Saddam Hussein reads
this website and simply stole the idea
from me. In which case I can only provide
this statement: Saddam, it's standard
protocol to give me a mention and maybe
a site link- just something simple like
"I read XQUZYPHYR & Overboard every
day in the Washington Square News- NYU's
quality student-run, student-published
newspaper. Oh, and death to America."
Oh, and your romance novels suck.
Monday, September 16, 2002
Timelines and pipelines
There are, effectively, only two significant
reasons the United States has any interest
in bombing the once-living hell out of
the Arab Middle East. Strangely, both
of them should be the most blatantly obvious
reasons to anyone who actually sat down
and thought about it, yet pundits will
dismiss both as a violently un-American
First of all, there is the idea that
bombing Iraq will immediately raise George
Bush's, and therefore the Republican Party's,
approval ratings a mere few weeks before
what many consider on of the most evenly-matched
yet massively decisive mid-term elections
in this generation. This concept isn't
even an argument; it's a fact. War will
raise the approval of the commander-and-chief
and his party, through a combination of
blind hatred for whoever we branded the
enemy, honest American support of their
leader in a time of trouble, and complete
fear that refusal to emit such support
will have them arrested and detained for
an unknown time without bail or a hearing.
The question, of course, is whether or
not Bush honestly wants to invade Iraq
solely for this reason. Well, we now have
a way to determine this. As it turns out,
the chief weapons inspector for the United
Nations has now stated that even if Iraq
conceded to unrestricted inspections this
very afternoon, it
would take at least five months to prepare
and perform the inspections. This
means, strangely enough, that Saddam could
very well cripple Bush's plan by surrendering.
On the other hand, this could only strengthen
Bush's rhetoric in that we "need to take
out Saddam now before he develops weapons
of mass destruction." By rationalizing
(if Bush can actually rationalize) that
at a very minimum, the alternative to
bombing would take five months, then he
might be able to convince the people that
we just can't wait that long. How ironic
that would be, seeing how we've waited
eleven years for Saddam to do something
and now five more months is too late.
The second reason, of course, is oil.
There's no other significant reason we
would give a damn about these countries.
Iraq has enough oil to dramatically alter
the percentage ratio in terms of European
and U.S. export. European countries do
not specifically want Saddam replaced,
only any form of resolution which lifts
the sanctions and allows countless
deals in play to finally come to Baghdad.
European nations, not to mention Israel
and adjacent Arab nations to Iraq, however,
don't (or shouldn't, at least) endorse
the "easiest" solution of invading the
place, because if it turns out Saddam
does have nukes or VX rockets he's going
to unload all of them at random before
the troops come in.
Compare the threat of Saddam Hussein
to Hitler all you want; just make sure
you're aware that Saddam is not going
to end his term by putting a gun in his
mouth. The endgame for forcible removal
of Saddam involves Saddam, and whoever
wished to avenge him afterwards, taking
as many American, Israeli, Kird, and Saudi
lives with him.
But even with the conflict in Iraq tied
up, there is always the great cause in
Afghanistan. And this one should be a
concept that no one could have denied
the idea of- hell, Ted Rall wrote about
entire year ago. The only reason this
country has any concerns to the US is
because digging a long hole straight down
the middle of the country creates a pipeline
from the Turkmenistan oil fields to the
Any rhetoric about "they oppress women"
or "they funded the terrorists" can be
directed to the usual statements I am
becoming far to bored to have to repeat
to everyone: they're still wearing burquas
in Afghanistan. They're still stoning
women to death for having affairs. Al-Quaida
still exists, as does its principal leaders,
none of whom we actually managed to capture,
or kill, or even directly locate. Most
of the 9/11 hijackers were from a nation
we not only don't even accuse of terrorism,
but are currently bargaining with to use
their airbases to launch our planes from
to bomb Iraq, which according to most
evidence has absolutely nothing to do
with 9/11 except for Saddam expressing
happiness about it. For that we decimate
an entire country?
Anyway, this long post of mine actually
has purpose from the beginning, and I
apologize for taking the long way around.
That whole Afghanistan pipeline thing?
Ridiculous rationale, right? Guess what-
officially happening now.
Oh, and in case you forgot, the installed
president of Afghanistan used to work
Something is going to go down in Iraq,
and I'm thinking soon. There are only
two reasons Bush cares about Iraq- oil
and ratings. He's not going to do anything
unless he's guaranteed at least one of
This is an incredibly stupid idea
From the Science and Technology Department
(named, mainly, to use the newest image
I drew to the left there:) the newest
scientific advance in health care has
been raised as a method for controlling
the risks of West Nile in the U.S. Though
slightly costly, this guaranteed environmentally-friendly
method can control the mosquito problems
infesting the nation and cause no damage
to the health of humans or nearby wildlife.
Except, of course, that I'm lying. What
this guy here actually wants to do is
West Nile virus has killed 14 people
in the United States this year, including
eight in Louisiana and one in Illinois.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
says West Nile virus is in the United
States to stay. The virus may now be found
in 41 states, including every state from
Texas to the Atlantic.
CDC director Julie Geberding called
West Nile virus an ''emerging, infectious
disease epidemic'' that could be spread
all the way to the Pacific Coast by birds
It's time to bring back the insecticide
Pesticides such as malathion, resmethrin
and sumithrin can be effective in killing
mosquitoes but are significantly limited
because they don't persist in the environment
DDT does. DDT lingers longer and so
is more effective in mosquito control.
Umm... no offense to this guy, but so
does napalm. That doesn't make it a rational
Now, I understand that this is a serious
issue. Malaria and Typhoid, also mosquito-delivered
diseases, kill people in Africa by the
thousands every year. However, keep in
mind that the lack of DDT is not the addressed
issue in Africa as much as the fact that
the U.S. and Europe refuses to allow these
nations access to generic drugs and better
contraceptive and STD-prevention techniques.
But at this point, even the author of
this editorial himself is making a laughable
attempt at scaring us by using the death
of fourteen people as a sign that the
EPA needs to be dissolved. Forgive me
for having the gall to suggest that maybe
the very idea of proposing something as
ludicrous as legalizing DDT spraying is
being pushed by someone who basically
got bored of child kidnappings and needs
a new faux terror story for the summer
Friday, September 13, 2002
Well this one's interesting.
Guess who said this:
First and foremost was the principle
that aggression cannot pay. If we dealt
properly with Iraq, that should go a long
way toward dissuading future would-be
aggressors. We also believed that the
U.S. should not go it alone, that a multilateral
approach was better. This was, in part,
a practical matter. Mounting an effective
military counter to Iraq's invasion required
the backing and bases of Saudi Arabia
and other Arab states.
Give up? You're going to love this. That's
of George H. W. Bush, circa 1998.
This might mean there is a God. I'm
An update on my
early Christmas Wish from Josh Orr:
I was listening to Mancow on my way
to work today, as I often do when I find
that I'm not quite pissed enough to face
the day, and am pleased to report that
by his own account, he was in fact shot
in the groin. And the neck.
Praise the Lord, Shalom, and Allah Akbar.
Whatever. I'm just going to sleep all
warm and fuzzy tonight now.
Thursday, September 12, 2002
Possible experience of technical difficulties.
Two more oh yeahs
First of all, New Comic Posted: "Who
woulda bet that, huh?" As always,
share and enjoy, and CLICK THE TOP100
ICON FOR ME!!! Augie needs that top
20 placing. Remember, you can vote every
day, and it's you duty... to me... to
do so. Or something like that.
Second, I want to express my gratitude
towards all the people who wrote me in
regards to the message I had up for the
last two days in regards to September
11. It was one of the largest feedback-recieving
posts I've ever done, and all of you wrote
very touching words of response and reflection
towards it. I want to say thank you to
all of you, but at the same time I need
to express that although I frequently
post reader letters in response to my
work, I don't plan on posting any of the
e-mails sent to me regarding September
11. My agreement with myself was that
I would write a piece on the anniversary
because I knew many would want one, and
I would deal with the day that day, and
be done with it. I will remember and appreciate
all the supportive comments you sent me,
but now it's time to reflect on more important
That said, Buzz
Aldrin decks a guy. How in the hell
does a guy go home to his wife after this?
"Honey, you're home! How was your day?"
"Not good, dear. Buzz Aldrin kicked the
shit out of me."
Well, as you can see, there's a new look
to the site. I'll be the first to admit,
however, that there's probably a lot of
glitches here and there. Feel free to
let me know if there's some broken link
or missing image file somewhere on the
site and I'll try to update it later tonight
when I continue the other details. Here's
what you can see that's new or updated
on the site:
Better Flash. I tried to fix some
of the Flash problems that a few Mac users
had when using IE; I doubt it's perfect,
but I'm doing my best here. Due to the
upgrade, you will need Flash 5.0 or higher
to view the site, but for the hell of
it there are text links at the bottom
of the page as well.
Re-archived comics. The last year
of comics as well as all comics from now
on will have their own addressable page
instead of being accessible only through
a popup screen. Because of this, you can
now link directly to specific comics on
message boards and in e-mails to friends,
which I figure can only promote them more.
When I get the chance, the Chaosphere!NY-era
comics will be modified to the new format
Older essays are back in the archive.
A few essays I had done over the pre-blogger
years are now back in the archive.
More graphics.Basically I want
to put an image of one of the characters
next to each post, with spcial ones that
reflect any special natures of the post
(i.e. new comic posting, something about
the president, etc.) I've got two or three,
and I'll work on a few more over the weekend.
I just want more graphics on the black-and-white
drabness of the page.
The promo page. Moved the stuff
about promoting the site to its own page.
More stuff to be added as they are developed.
Spread the love.
More Pages of Mystery. Some easier
to find than others. Some of them might
just win you a prize.
A few changes and fixes here and there
will happen over the next day or so too.
It's an exciting time, indeed.
Please excuse the potential messes; as
you can see there's a lot of renovations
that finishing touches are being addes
to. Bear with us, thanks.
Monday, September 09, 2002
Last shout... and lord, does this guy
shout a lot
Chris Matthews writes his final column
today, leaving to have even more airtime
across two different networks. However,
the final message of a usually right-leaning
ridiculously vocal pundit? Don't
invade Iraq, you morons!
Gosh, and here I was thiking it was
because of the Anna Nicole Show
An ABCNews analysis of why
all the other countries in the world hate
us. Sherlock, the usual statement.
"The people in Germany, we accept
that you are, in a way, stronger," said
Peter Kloeppel of RTL television in Germany.
"But what we don't accept is that you
just come to conclusions and make decisions
without ever putting into consideration
what it might mean for other nations -
like, for example, the Germans."
"Japanese people think the American
people are a friendly people," said Hidetoshi
Fujisawa of the Japanese television network
NHK. "But these days, some are thinking
of them as a little bit self-centered
and not knowing much about what is happening
outside of the United States."
In France, a poll published this week
reported a rise in hostility to U.S. policies.
"They are too much interested in their
own personal business," said Christian
Malar, a senior foreign analyst for France
3 TV. "They're concerned only by their
own personal interest, not caring enough
about the interest or sharing interest
with their own friendly countries and
their own allies."
Tomorrow: Germany, Japan, and France
declared the next "Axis of Evil." Honest.
An advance warning or two
First of all, for obvious reasons, the
next comic will not be appearing on Wednesday
and will be delayed to either Thursday
or Friday, whenever the Washington Square
News decides to run it.
Second, to answer a few peoples' questions,
yes, there's going to be a post about
the Anniversary. It will probably be posted
sometime tomorrow, since I'm going to
be busy on Wednesday avoiding as much
media content as humanly possible. I'm
not as interested in talking about it,
but a lot of people seem to be interested
in hearing about it, so I plan to get
it done with and end it there. Be warned.
Saturday, September 07, 2002
And yet another Special on the Blue
More news on the mass
K-Mart arrests I discussed a few weeks
ago. Apparently, in the last week, at
the start of which a
mass internal hatred between the chief
and the captain of the police force in
the area was discovered, the official
count of those arrested was down to 278.
Which is still, of course, completely
However, in a related story, said police
chief has now been
indicted for perjury in his testimony
at a previous hearing in which he shifted
most of the blame to to captain who did
what for the sake of argument we'll call
"the organizing" of the raid. Essentially,
they thought it was drag racing, as a
reader alerted to me, and they came
up with Jack Schitt and his best friend
Bull. So in the perfect example of fine
Houston police training, they arrested
everyone in the parking lot for trespassing
anyway. Hard to believe that the city's
getting sued now. I mean touchy,
Friday, September 06, 2002
The Prime Minister of England has gone
Yes, that's right, the infamous "The
President of the United States has gone
completely insane, Pt. Whatever" has now
gone global? Why? Well, the title explains
itself. Now, the more thorough explanation.
The British government is selling part
of their defense ministry to The Carlyle
Yes. That's correct.
Ministers, under the Blair government,
are currently defending their position
to sell Qinitiq, the research and technology
division of the British defense council,
according to this
article in the Guardian. As the article
will also note, this is a plan that the
previous Conservative-led government said
that this, an act of privatization and
deregulation of a government industry,
was a bad idea.
So, under the belief that defense technology.
whatever. I mean, what the hell horrible
stuff can you even fathom something called
"Qiniteq, a division of the British Defense
Ministry" actually does. will be furthered
by its privatization, Blair's government
has decided the best (and most secure)
people to privatize it to are a private
company rife with friends and direct members
of the Bush family, the House of Saud,
and, lest we forget, the bin Ladens.
Gosh, isn't it funny how you never read
this stuff in the American newspapers.
Thursday, September 05, 2002
Slap the Coulter, Pt. 2
I can't help it... these editorials are
just too damn good. NYU Freshman: forget
Writing Workshop. There is nothing on
this earth that inspires literary greatness
quicker than one's inner hatred of Ann
Coulter. Hence, this
brilliant editorial from the head of the
Centre Daily Times, who opens in the
greatest way possible:
Dear Ann Coulter: You're fired.
Oh. My. God. If an opening line of a
house editorial was any sexier, God would
have to kill a kitten.
Oh, and what makes it better? As of the
article here was posted, the letters
to the editor were- get this- over
95% in support of dropping Coulter's column.
I would sent the editor a nice e-mail
to raise that percentage. Hell, mail him
a box of homemade friggin' brownies.
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
The parents of an 11-year-old girl
are to take the extraordinary step of
having her fitted with a microchip
so that her movements can be traced
if she is abducted.
Danielle Duval will have the device
implanted in her arm in the next few months,
the scientist assisting the plan claimed
yesterday. The miniature chip will apparently
send a signal via a mobile phone network
to a computer, which will be able to pinpoint
her location on an electronic map.
The parents, Wendy and Paul Duval
from Reading in Berkshire, said they had
decided on the step after the abduction
and murder of the schoolgirls Holly Wells
and Jessica Chapman.
"After the news of Holly and Jessica
, we sat down as a family and discussed
what we could do," Mrs Duval said. "Like
us, Danielle needs to feel that she's
safe at all times and could be located
in a real emergency. I know nothing is
ever 100% or foolproof, but we believe
the microchip will go a long way towards
A spokesman for Kidscape, the charity
aimed at stopping children from being
bullied and sexually abused, said: "We
do not think this is a good idea..."
Y'think? Full story here.
And yes, like you I have already come
up with a long unspeakable list in my
head of the horrible ways this device,
if in use, could fail. I would appreciate
not having to discuss them with anyone.
Oh, do I enjoy saying this.
Newest comic posted - "Welcome Back
to the Home of the Liberal Agenda."
And when you're on the comics page, make
sure to click on the Top100 icon to send
me a few votes. As of this posting, I
am exactly 1,000 votes away from making
the top 20, which means I can get a graphic
link on the listing, whic means more popularity,
which can only mean good things for all
of you- yes, you- in the future.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
hello there, you smooth motherfucker.
Yes, that's my hours-old ID card for
the Viacom building, the ominous blue
tower that reaches fifty or so stories
above Times Square. I am now officially
(using a term I gave to describe all 21-year-olds
who are within six months of the same
age as MTV, and therefore are the definitive
examples of youth fueled literally their
entire lives by its pop culture) one of
the Children on Viacom.
And, much as I hate the concept of this
corporation, which (as the orientation
seminar today covered repeatedly) controls,
roughly, just about every aspect of American
electronic media culture that AOL doesn't,
I am quickly on my way to loving my specific
position as an intern for Nickelodeon's
website division. The boss is a great
guy, the co-workers are pretty cool, the
transport requires about ten minutes on
the friggin' N/R/Q to Times Square, at
which point 1515 Broadway, as the headquarters
of Viacom would be, is about ten
steps away from the Times Square subway
In addition, these guys have no corporate
concept of rigidness at all. The hours
are ridiculously flexible, the downtime
is luxurious while the workload seems
to stay entertaining, and. oh yes. soda
fountain in the break room. You heard
me. I'm not getting paid for this gig,
but oh my sweet holy lord. free unlimited
Diet Coke. Long-term readers of the site
who are aware of my insane caffeine addiction
recognize the possibility that that
alone might make them wish they were paying
me just to save money. Couple that
with the Viacom building's main meeting
room being right on my floor (42, by the
way. Does this get any more ridiculously
zen-like?) which means every other day
there are huge amounts of food delivered
to the execs there, giving all the web
artists the chance to go full-blown Velociraptor
on the leftovers as soon as the meetings
Today I spent eight hours eating free
pizza, drinking free soda, and cutting
stuff with a giant stationary blade. How's
your work day, bizzatch?
But I There are, essentially, only two
major reasons I'm currently violating
my own "this is a blog about news and
politics, not my goddamn diary" rule:
first, I'm required as per my internship
course requirements to do some form of
daily journal, and I might as well make
this the first entry and nail two birds
with one stick (my British readers are
now laughing their asses off, by the way,)
and two, I should use this first day to
emphasize the logical annoyance I must
make to my readers that this internship,
being all day Tuesday and Thursday, will
very likely lead to a less frequent barrage
of posts during those days. Sorry.
But on the plus side, there's a new comic
being posted in, oh let's say six hours
or so, plus. you get to see a horrible
photo of me that I have to show a security
guard every day. The photo, not me. The
real me is only 70-80% terrible. Or hungry.
Hey, time for dinner. Excuse me.