Thursday, February 28, 2002

I hope everyone understands that my open declaration of outright love made in my previous post for a WSN columnist I have, in fact, never actually met, is not actually meant in the literal sense but rather a humorous metaphor for my utmost respect and praise for her finely and eloquently-detailed article about a subject to which I relate in her criticism, though I admit she is really cute.

Just making that clear so you don't all think I'm a psycho or anything.


Well, I think it's gone beyond the one-liner in my strip two weeks ago. Because of her latest opinion piece in the Washington Square News, I think I've officially fallen in love with columnist Marissa Moss. Okay, not really... okay, maybe really. Hell, I fall in love three or four times a week.

Her piece is a brilliant and scathing article on the hypocrisy of many of the political leftists here at NYU who decide that their political mentality is not really a mentality, but a way of expressing their outer fashions. In other words, anarchist leftists have to dress like 80's punks, and a girls who has a great political mind but just happens to dress really nice, wears makeup, and has no visible piercings has no business in the "liberal" movement on campus.

I hate the way students are like this at NYU. The people here on the whole either care only about how they look at hide any attempt to show a mind, or believe that because of that reason they need to deliberately appear different from other people as if to imply the difference in their political thought.

Well I don't buy this crap either. I don't smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol, or have any tattoos or visible piercings- that doesn't mean I don't advocate the legality of all of them. Just because I wear a long black overcoat doesn't imply I'm a card-carrying member of the militant anti-government movement- it means 1. I think I look good in it, and 2. It's goddamn freezing outside.

I focused on this in a strip I did last year about how political statements at NYU are becomming a fashion rather than a thinking... hating animal testing and voting for Ralph Nader aren't becomming popular because people actually believe in them, but because it's a great thing to wear on the weekend. I think that diminishes any attempt to make those cases even remotely plausible.

I guess it's also the big dumb male in me... ever since I came to college I have pursued the elusive dream girl of mine that has a political thinking clse to me, but just happens to be really hot as well. Guilty on both counts, this may explain my sudden Marissa Moss infatuation. Hopefully I'll be better soon. Maybe I should just start drinking.


Okay, funny and frightening for ya. The Houston Astros have, for what I think is the first time in corporate history, asked to pay Enron to not sponsor their field anymore. That's right, the Astros are going to pay to not have to call it Enron Field anymore. Such heartwarming memories are backing into our heads of the 2000 campaign, when George W. Bush flew to the newly-renamed field to watch Kenny Lay, who of course he doesn't know and have any affiliation with, throw out the first pitch. Awww.

Oh, and the Doomsday Clock's back to where it was when we though Russia was going to vaporize us overnight. Just in case you were just starting to feel safe or anything like that.


Tuesday, February 26, 2002

No, you're not losing it. After a whopping five days, I've already reformatted the site. Because I hate frames. Now there are no frames. And now I am happy. At least for a little while.

Now go tell more people this fucker exists.


Monday, February 25, 2002

Jesus Christ on a Segway.

According to the Associated Press, George W. Bush has just declared, with a completely straight face (or what you would call straight in regards to Smirk) that Afghanistan "failed demonstrably" in 2001 to cooperate in anti-narcotics efforts but that the country nonetheless is entitled to receive U.S. assistance because of vital American interests.

Yes, the Taliban was doing so much better when you gave them $43,000,000 last year, George.

So a year ago the Taliban only got money by agreeing to burn farms and execute heroin exporters. Now, because of U.S. interests (umm, and what would those be, Oil-boy?) the new government we installed doesn't have to worry about that. Nope, no need to stop flooding Heroin into the country because there's a much more important pipeline to work on.

I thought if we help drug dealers, we're helping the terrorists. Any comments, Mr. President?


Sunday, February 24, 2002

For Chuck

24 hours ago, I was about to ink next week's strip- I actually have to look at it to remember what it's about- when I got the news that Chuck Jones had died. I'm up this late because needless to say, plans changed. I just finished what I hope is a worthy strip to express my sorrow and admiration for this great man's passing.

I have decided to break usual tradition and post the strip immediately, rather than wait until it runs in the WSN on Wednesday. In the only other way I could think of making this strip special, the online version's in color as well.

If anyone would like a high-resolution, printable copy of the color comic, drop me an e-mail and I'll send you one. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to go and be very unhappy some more.


Saturday, February 23, 2002


Chuck Jones, the greatest American animator who ever lived, has died at the age of 89.

I've just stopped crying. And going to start again writing this. One of the reasons I applied to NYU was the picture of Chuck Jones giving a lecture in the brochure I read during my Junior year of high school. I'm serious- the idea that he occasionally came to this school for an hour every three or four years was actually incentive for me to apply. The impact that this man has had on my life is that great.

History will look upon each and every civilization and recognize their contribution to the development of culture through their discovery of art as a way of expression. Europe and Asia will fight over who created the greatest painting, the most majestic statue, the apex of modern architecture. But dispite the glamour that Japan currently gives to it, history will see the truth that animation as an art form was devised, invented, utilized, and perfected in the United States of America.

Napalm. Atomic warfare. Commercialized Health Care. America is responsible for many things, and ironically cartoons, which people have accused for generations of teaching our children violence, is probably the one thing that didn't directly destroy countless amounts of people that this country is responsible for.

History will look upon American for its contribution to art and culture. And history will see American for cartoons. And it will remember Chuck Jones as the man who gave America its own art form.

I will never get over the fact that I never was able to meet the man who made me laugh before I could read, and I will never believe that if I live twice as long I will be able to do half of what he did. You can argue anything you want with me about my political views, or what's wrong with the president, or what's right with the economy, anything you want. But don't try to convince me that this man didn't define an entire art form for this nation. Democrat or Republican, it would be an act of treason.


It is far more valuable in my opinion to address this problem of terrorism with enough honesty to question our own responsibility as nations and as individuals for the rise of terrorism... [I hope I] will be able to tell our son that his father carried the flag to end terrorism, raising an unprecedented demand among people from all countries not for revenge but for the values we all share: love, compassion, friendship and citizenship far transcending the so-called clash of civilizations.

These words are from a statement by Mariane Pearl, whose husband Daniel, a reporter for the Wall Street Journal, has just been confirmed as having been excuted on camera by Pakistani terrorists. At this time, Mariane is seven months pregnant, and Federal officials predict Daniel's body will most likely never be found.

There are right-wing pro-war fanatics who are, as we speak, publicly condemning Mariane Pearl for making these comments.

I'd like to elaborate on that for everyone: today, a woman watched a videotape of her husband having his throat slashed open, and people are angry at her for not demanding gruesome revenge against the murderers.

Please take a few minutes to consider this before joining me in vomiting.


Friday, February 22, 2002

According to my site tracking software, I have officially attracted my first visitors using Netscape and Opera browsers. And in the same day, too. Hello there, whoever you guys are. I apologize for the site probably not working for you, but it's because you're the only people who will ever visit this site using Netscape and Opera. I'm really really sorry about this.


Thursday, February 21, 2002

Just came back from the Michael Moore book tour thing. I'm already into Stupid White Men and I'm amazed at what a good read it is. People usually accuse liberal authors, especially Moore, of being way too pretentious and nasty in some of their writing. What's great about Moore is that after reading some of his stuff about how Bush should resign and how the Enron execs are comparable to Hitler in terms of mass life-shattering crime, you realize that he isn't trying to be smarmy or witty in his political analysis: he's dead serious, and is rationally and open-mindedly citing factual evidence to support his claim.

Case in point: Bush Sr. had oil industry connections to the bin Laden energy supply company. Yes, of the Saudi Arabia bin Ladens. And Cheney had meetings with Haliburton and Enron months BEFORE Sept. 11 to discuss the amazing profit potential of running an oil pipeline through Afghanistan... if only the pesky Taliban was out of the way... but how?

But I digress... go buy the book, which actually hit #1 on Amazon this morning DURING Moore's interview with Sean Hannity (also known as Satan) and get all the stuff for yourself. There's lots of other fun stuff in there as well. And I promise, no more posts shamelessly kissing Michael Moore's ass. Unless he suddenly plugs my site. Which he won't, because like 249 million other Americans he has no idea who I am. Yet.


Wednesday, February 20, 2002

Not-so-Dainty Moore
Okay, so it's a horrible catch line, but I'm somewhat excited. Strange events between now and tomorrow night notwithstanding, I'm going off to the Merkin Concert Hall at W. 67th St. tomorrow night. There I shall meet Michael Moore, listen to his sage words of wisdom, and buy his newest book Stupid White Men and hopefully have it autographed as well.

I met Mike last year- in fact, the day after the election and the dawn of the Florida debacle, at a guest lecture he gave at NYU. No, I don't actually think he'll remember me or anything. But it's fun to think he would- kinda like that old SNL sketch where Paul Simon remembers random people who approach him on line. "Central Park, 1978... you were the guy who kept screaming 'Play The Boxer!'" Aaaah, good times.

So this is where you go if you want to get inforation about Mike's book, and the tour. Take my advice, you should seriously try to see him talk live. It's amazing. You should also try to get his new book as soon as possible. It's flying off the shelves, and is actually sold out at Amazon... at AMAZON, for Christ's sake, which is pretty damn good for a book that almost had it's initial run burned before hitting the stores back in November because the publisher felt they shouldn't print a book that dared to say Bush is an idiot.


Tuesday, February 19, 2002

Latest comic put up - "On the Topic of College Newspapers."


ABC News just released their annual President's Day Poll of greatest American presidents. Lincoln led among Republicans. Kennedy among Democrats. Most seniors picked Roosevelt and most black people polled split between Lincoln and Clinton. And nine out of ten political analysts reported that the poll has absolutely no bearing on anything whatsoever, depsite the fact that it will without a doubt be the lead topic for at least three major political news talk shows within the next two days. Oh, and nine more people in the West Bank were shot today, but why should that be news anymore?


Monday, February 18, 2002


I've switched around where the hell the archive pages go about six times now, and I'm not going to actually have an archive for another month. It's kind of weird.

Anyhoo, there's a very good chance you could actually be reading this right now, because there's a very good chance this is actually uploaded to the site. The main page, I mean. Most of the basic stuff that is undoubtedly vital to the site running is now up, so basically all that left are some little things. More flash stuff coming , I guess. Comic archive's up, which of course, is the most crucial part of the site. So GO READ THE FUNNY!

Headline of the moment at CNN: "Bush to ask for 60 acres added to Arlington National Cemetery." Jesus, even I didn't think he was going to get that many of us killed that quickly.

Okay, maybe I did.


Okay, moving right along. Apparently, the blog is working. I have, as of this moment, no freaking clue if the archving works. So I guess we have to wait until the end of the week or month or something like that to find out. Oh goody. Guess I'll try to start making some frame pages now.







It's the bunny sponge.
You use it to mop up all
of the spilled bunny.

Haiku modified from post (c) Don Hertzfeldt.


More testing. Thinking of switching to frames. Hate frames. Have to use frames. Or else everything else won't work. Can make work, but will... take work. Grrrrrr.


Wednesday, February 13, 2002

umm... better yet? no.


Hello? Is anyone there?

We have contact. Well not really, because unless your part of the Illuminati or somehow actually found a page with no active links to it yet, there's absolutely no way you can actually be reading this.

This is the testing phase for the new site at Odds are you'll find this several weeks afterwards. i have to fix the site up, reupload all the files, and make some more fun stuff too, not to mention custom edit the blog so it works with my site's own templates. Whee, ha ha ha, fun.

So in the long run, I guess I'll see you in a few. Wish me luck on this damn thing.